As a thank you for clicking on that clickbait title, I will go ahead and tell you what the thing is.

You should always have a video or phone call with a girl before the first date.

BEFORE YOU CLICK AWAY, hear me out.

Having a call before your first date is the single most powerful thing you can do when it comes to online dating. 

I once had an extremely beautiful girl wait in a 100+ person line to meet me inside a club that she hated, all because I had intrigued her with a 15-minute video call the night before. Enter your email address at the bottom of this page, and I will teach you this power.

Once you get good at calls, you will have a 0% flake rate, girls will be ridiculously excited to meet you, and you will never waste your time, energy, or money on a bad first date again.

If the idea of having a call with a girl fills you with dread or just a general lack of enthusiasm, trust me, I get it. But also trust me when I say, it’s the best strategy for both online dating and your own personal growth.

Here are 4 reasons why.

Saves You Time & More

If you read my previous article about catfish and scammers, you’ll know this is one of the most effective tactics you can use to avoid being used or tricked.

How many first dates have you had where you knew within the first 5 minutes that you weren’t into the girl? 

Yet, you had to spend more than 5 minutes talking to her, not to mention the time you spent getting ready and traveling to/from the date. If you consider yourself a gentleman, you probably paid for the date too.

Now let me ask you this: how many times have you been flaked on?

Every guy has experienced a girl flaking on him. Usually it happens before the date. If you’re lucky, she’ll let you know. Unfortunately it’s not unheard of for guys to show up for dates and get totally ghosted. Believe it or not, that’s actually a scam that bars/restaurants will use to lure in customers.

If you have a good call with a girl before a date, the likelihood of the girl flaking on you is almost zero. If it happens, it’s usually for a legit reason, and the girl will try to reschedule.

Continue reading to understand why.

Shows The Girl You Are A High-Quality Man

If you follow me, you’ll know the biggest key for being successful in online dating is standing out.

Almost zero guys ask girls for a call prior to a first date. Usually they either text with the girl for way too long, or they are very fast to try and get the girl out on a date.

By telling the girl you want to have a call before your first date, you greatly differentiate yourself from all the other guys she’s talked to.

Now let’s think about it from the girl’s point of view. What kind of messages does this send?

1. You value your time. Even small dates are an hour or two commitment. If you are that guarded with your time, you probably have a lot of important things going on in your life.
2. You are cautious. Most girls are worried that the guy they're meeting could be a psycho. By initiating the call with the correct framework, you demonstrate that you’re most likely not a psycho, but you’re not sure about her, which is a very powerful position (and a subject for another article).
3. You are picky. You are not desperate to get her to go on a date with you like every other guy she talks to. You know what you want, and you’re not going to waste energy on a girl who doesn’t meet your standards.
4. You are confident. A lot of guys are scared to have calls with girls. By being assertive about what you want and leading the interaction, you show her that you are a confident guy.

In other words, it sends the message that you are a high-quality man.

Makes The First Date WAY Better

Pretty much everyone experiences some degree of nervousness on a first date. However, if you have a really good phone call with a girl first, most of that nervousness will be replaced with pure excitement.

This is the reason you never have to deal with flaking after a phone call.

Once again, let’s think about this from the girl’s point of view. She’s burned out from having the same interactions with guys over and over. Tons of small talk. How long has she lived here? What does she do for work? What does she do for fun?

Suddenly she matches with this guy who tells her he wants to talk to her before inviting her on a date. That’s different.

She has the call, and it’s a breath of fresh air. Instead of asking her small talk questions, he asks her deep, thoughtful questions. She can tell he’s genuinely interested in understanding who she is, and he’s good at it. She rarely, if ever, feels listened to like this.

If talking to the guy on the phone was that fun, how amazing would it be to experience him in person?

This is what a girl will be experiencing. She will be ridiculously excited to meet up with you, and it makes the first date a breeze.

The call essentially replaces the first date and lays an extremely solid foundation from which to build. You will already feel like you know each other a little bit, so the actual first date doesn’t feel like meeting up with a stranger.

Expedites Your Growth

Having calls with girls is one of the best ways to expedite your growth. This is especially true if you get anxiety when it comes to talking to girls or having phone calls.

Talking to girls (and people) is a skill. Like any skill, the more practice and effort you put in, the better you’ll get at it. Sure, you can grow a little bit from texting girls, but if you want to make real progress, you need to talk to them.

If you only spoke with girls on actual dates, you would experience much slower growth since you could realistically only go on one or two dates per day. That could also be extremely draining. But how many phone calls could you have in an evening, all without leaving your home?

What’s more, it’s much easier to record and listen to yourself having a phone call than an in-person date (although be aware of your local laws surrounding recording conversations). Listening to yourself and critiquing your performance is the fastest way to get good.

“Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually the confidence will follow.” - Carrie Fisher

There you have it. If you are still a bit hesitant to start having calls with girls before dates, I understand. After all, why would you risk having a bad call with a girl when you could just ask her out on the date?

I promise you, once you put in the work and get good at them, they are extremely fun and almost like a cheat code. No more flaking. No more bad dates. Pure excitement from the girls.

If you want to actually learn how to have amazing phone calls with girls, be sure to enter your email address below. 

Also check out my ultimate guide to first dates.

Until next time.

-Coley