I love online dating. I think it’s the best thing ever. If I wanted to invest the time and energy, I could have multiple dates lined up for every day of the week. If I’m alone, it’s by choice.

That wasn’t always the case. For the majority of my life, I was very alone and not by choice. My best friend was someone I played Xbox with who I never met in person. I spent countless hours in the back of a game shop playing tabletop games with guys 3x my age.

Shockingly enough, when I finally created a profile on a dating app, things didn’t really change. Even after improving so many other areas of my life, I still had a hard time.

Ironically, now that I have endless options when it comes to women, I find myself focusing more on other things (like writing this), but that’s a subject for another time.

Back to my main point: if you’re a man who has an overall negative opinion of online dating, your opinion is wrong and you’re doing something wrong. Probably a lot of things.

The general sentiment towards online dating is negative, and despite what I just said, I understand why. After all, 99% of guys have no idea what they are doing when it comes to online dating. Very few are happy with their results.

Allow me to explain why online dating is the greatest thing since canned bread.

Volume

I can’t remember the last time I heard someone say “I’ve never used a dating app.” A recent poll from Pew Research shows that over 50% of adults under the age of 30 have used a dating site/app. If you live in a highly populated area, I’m sure that percentage is way higher.

(Percent who use dating apps.)

This is fantastic news. The more girls who use dating apps, the more opportunities you have.

If you go out for the night with the intention of meeting women, how many will you realistically talk to? Let’s be real - the average guy doesn’t approach women. Even fearless guys only meet a handful. Once you find a girl who is actually single, having a conversation to figure out if you like each other takes time.

Or maybe you join a club or take up a hobby you enjoy. What are the actual odds you’ll meet someone who is single and attractive and into you? Don’t get me wrong, I think doing that type of stuff is a great idea, but not for meeting women. You could get lucky, but the odds are not in your favor.

Where are the odds more in your favor?

Dating apps. In just an hour of swiping, you can see more women than you could in a month of going out. Plus, all of them are looking for partners. Of course you won’t match with all of them, but due to sheer volume of options, you could talk to far more women by staying in and swiping than you could by going out. Even when you’re not using the app, your profile is being shown to countless women.

Yes, you need a decent profile for the above to be true. I’ll address that at the end of this article.

What accompanies having more options?

1. More practice: Online dating is fantastic for guys who don’t have much dating experience. A lot of guys’ very first dates are with girls they met on apps. Even if you don’t have the best profile, if you are a decently put-together adult, you should be capable of getting some matches. That means more practice talking to girls and more practice going on dates. For men, dating is very much a skill, and like other skills, the more you practice, the better you’ll get.
   
   
2. Better decision-making: So many guys make questionable decisions when it comes to women out of desperation. Simply put, the more options you have, the smarter your decisions will be, from avoiding questionable hookups to getting/staying out of toxic relationships.
   
   
3. Higher chance to find compatibility: It’s simple math. The more women you have access to, the better your odds are of finding girls who are compatible with you. Small pool = lower chance.
   
   
4. You can find whatever relationship you want: If you just want to hookup or you’re looking for something serious, you’ll find plenty of girls who are looking for the same thing. Even at clubs, a lot of girls are just there to dance and have fun. There’s no guarantee any of them are down for anything.

Meet Women Anywhere

Let me tell you, very few feelings are better than arriving in a new city, knowing you can hop on an app and have a date with a cute girl that night. 

One of the few better feelings is already having a cute girl lined up and excited to show you around.

Dating apps are AMAZING if you travel. I had some of the greatest experiences of my life with people (both dating and friendwise) that I met on apps.

If you are planning on visiting somewhere, you can simply set your location in the app to that place and talk to women there before arriving. If you do it far enough in advance, you can have some video chats with them and build up a real connection before meeting them. When you finally do meet, it’s electric.

Or if you’re a more spontaneous person, you can still have peace of mind knowing you’ll be able to date amazing women as soon as you arrive, no matter where you go.

The alternative is going out and rolling the dice. Don’t get me wrong- I think going out in an unfamiliar place, especially by yourself, is a very character-building and necessary activity. More often than not, it will turn into a fun time even without any romantic intentions. However, it’s much more fun if you know you have a date already lined up the following evening.

The fact you don’t have to be in close proximity to the women on apps doesn’t just apply to traveling.

There are a lot of women that you could only meet on a dating app. Plenty of women don’t go out to clubs or party at all. Some women don’t run errands at all- they pay for assistants to get groceries, etc. Other women have gyms in their apartment buildings so you would have zero chance of meeting them at yours. If you’re a workaholic who wants to be in a power-couple, how much time do you think your potential dream workaholic spouse spends away from the world, hard at work, just like you?

My point is, there are a lot of attractive, intelligent women who you would love to date who you would never meet outside of a dating app.

It’s Easier

Approaching women is hard. Getting rejected sucks. That said, I think every guy needs to experience it, and I think being able to approach women in person is a very important skill. 

But let’s be honest- a huge appeal of dating apps is the lack of direct rejection. Sure, some girls may unmatch you or not respond to your message, but it’s rare that you’ll get a true rejection, and you can easily explain away any situation. She probably deleted her account or got logged out or lost her phone or forgot to respond (actually that last one is legit- always send follow-up messages).

Studies show rejection activates the same region of the brain as physical pain, so if you could avoid that most of the time, why wouldn’t you? Not to mention you avoid being viewed as creepy or making girls feel uncomfortable. Using dating apps is more comfortable all around, and while there is a time and place for discomfort, there’s nothing inherently wrong with preferring a more comfortable option.

This is also a huge point for the many guys out there who have social anxiety. Mine used to be terrible. The first time I ever cold-approached a girl during the day, my entire body froze except for my right leg which wouldn’t stop bouncing uncontrollably. It’s the cringiest of stories that I will tell at some point.

Point is, I get it. Social anxiety sucks, and I don’t think there is anything wrong with using apps as a way to ease into dating and talking to girls for guys out there who really struggle with talking to girls in person. There is something to be said for self-esteem being necessary to be successful with dating, but it can also be built in part through success with women.

I could go on, but hopefully I have done a good job of convincing you why any guy would be foolish to not take advantage of online dating.

Now you may be thinking, “Yes, I agree with your incredibly eloquent explanation of how online dating is amazing… but your reasoning only applies to guys who get good results. Dating a cute girl in another country doesn’t matter if I can’t match with her in the first place.”

To which I would say… fair point. It is difficult to get amazing results with online dating if you have no idea what you’re doing. Lucky for you, you’ve discovered me.

Sign up for my newsletter below if you would like to learn everything I know about online dating. I will teach you how to have the dating life of your dreams.

My mission is to create a very positive and inspiring community, and I can’t do it without you.

Until next time.

-Coley