Online dating is so easy for men.

If you are like most guys, you probably strongly disagree with that statement. Read on if you’re open to having your mind (and dating life) changed.

Before we get into the details of why, let’s take a minute to reflect on the difficulties of online dating for women. Understanding the female experience on dating apps is vital to being successful at online dating as a man, and it will tie into my points about why it is easy for men.

Just as most guys think online dating for men is hard, they think it’s easy for women.

Sure, it is easy for women to get matches, go on dates, and get laid if they want to. But that comes at a cost.

Women, especially the most attractive women, are FLOODED with matches, likes, and messages. That’s better than getting zero likes, but it comes with its own difficulties. Enter your email address at the bottom of this page, to experience these difficulties for yourself ;)

There have been quite a few studies that demonstrate the paradox of choice: the more choices one has, the more difficult it is to make a decision. Having the option to switch a choice also leads to decreased satisfaction in the original choice made.

It’s easy to see how this could be applied to dating. A woman with a good profile will have literally thousands of potential matches within a few weeks. Not only does she have to deal with the paradox of choice, she also has to wade through a sea of low effort profiles and messages, endure insults and creepy comments, and deal with burning out from seeing the same stuff over and over and over and over.

As a guy, if you know what you’re doing, not only can you use the struggles of women to your advantage, you can also experience most of it yourself without the bad parts. Now let’s get into the details.

No Real Competition

99.99% of guys have ZERO idea what they are doing when it comes to online dating. Most of the successful guys are lucky enough to be good-looking AND have good pictures. It is a rare combo. But even most of those guys match with girls who are beneath their preferred standards.

If you see a profile of a guy on reddit with lots of matches/success, zoom in on the thumbnails of the girls he's talking to, and you'll see what I'm talking about. While you're at it, look at the countless profiles of clueless guys asking for help because they're struggling. That's the experience of almost all guys. And the experience of most girls is having to sift through terrible profile after terrible profile.

In short, if you know what you're doing, you will stand out among the sea of mirror selfies and cliche bios. You will be a breath of fresh air to any girl who comes across your profile.

Being successful in online dating as a man is all about standing out. If you know how to do that, you will be successful. The key is knowing exactly how to stand out...which can be difficult to figure out. 

If you try to research how to be successful at online dating, you will find:

1. Generic, unhelpful advice (get pics doing hobbies!)
   
2. Incorrect advice (message with girls for a long time before you ask for their number)
3. Conflicting advice (in your first pic, you should be smiling at the camera/looking away with a serious expression)

Luckily for you, you have found me. Your search for how to have success in online dating is over.

Efficiency

How many times have you combed through a girl's profile to come up with an amazing, witty opening message, only to get ghosted or unmatched after you send it?

There's nothing more demotivating. 

Most guys fall into two categories when it comes to opening messages:

-They try to send a custom message to each girl they match with (what's your cat's name, how long have you been into rock climbing, your eyes are so beautiful and I would love to get to know you)

OR

-They send the same low-effort messages to every single girl (hey, hi, how are you, what's up, *gif*)

Neither of these approaches is effective, and they both lead to burnout and poor results.

That leads to our next advantage as men: efficiency!

EVERYTHING you do when it comes to online dating should be maximizing efficiency. I'll go into more detail about this later, but as the man, it is much more easy to be efficient than it is for women. The more efficient you are, the less time/energy you use, and the less burned out you'll get.

Basically, you want everything to be systemized. You shouldn't be spending lots of time coming up with unique messages to send every girl. You should have a few messages that you can copy and paste for any girl. Most girls will respond to those messages in similar ways, so you should have a sequence of messages that follow. The majority of your conversations on dating apps should look similar.

Is that romantic? No.

Will your average person agree with me? Probably not.

Is it necessary when you have more matches than you have time to message? YES.

Bottom line is, if you have an efficient sequence of messages that gets you great results, you're not going to do better by customizing all of your conversations. If anything, you'll get worse results in addition to wasting time and energy.

This is the mindset you should have during the entire dating process, up until you actually get to talk with her and figure out if she is someone you want to invest your time and energy into. Everything before that is relatively impersonal, and you should treat it as such.

You're In Control

Why is it easier for men to be efficient than women?

As the man in your dating interactions, most women will prefer for you to take the lead. That's something you should enjoy doing, and it makes it so much easier to be efficient.

Having endless options of matches as a woman is completely different as a man. As the man, you can direct your interactions where you want them to go. You can make moves without having to worry about why the other person isn't making them. You can transition conversations from apps to texting to phone calls to dates at your convenience (assuming the girl is attracted and comfortable enough). 

Women on the other hand are somewhat at the mercy of the men they are speaking to. Studies have shown that women who send messages first have more success, so why don't they do it more? After all, it's 2024, and we're all about equality right? Even on Bumble, the majority of first messages are "hey."

Most women will tell you they prefer the man to send the first message and take the lead.

The problem is, the majority of men they talk to are either too afraid to make a move, don't know how to have interesting/fun conversations, or are uncalibrated and try to progress things before the woman is comfortable with them.

It may be hard but imagine you are a girl who has unlimited matches. However, none of them are what you're looking for. You get excited about a rare match only to have things fizzle quickly. You even try going on dates with guys who you're not super excited about, but you want to give them a chance. None of them work out.

Now imagine you do find a match who has an exciting profile, sends an intriguing first message, and initiates a fun conversation. The way he communicates is nothing like you've experienced. How excited would you be about that guy?

You can be that guy. Once you are that guy, dating is easy.

If you’re still not convinced, it’s probably because you haven’t experienced how easy it is for yourself, which is understandable. Like most guys, you have struggled with getting matches, receiving responses, having interesting conversations, and getting girls to go on dates.

Once you move from the 99.99% of guys who don’t know what they’re doing to the .01% who do, your perspective will completely change.

It is possible for anyone to do, and I can show you how. Once you have mastered my system, your experience will be very similar to how I described the experience of an attractive woman at the start of this article.

You will be overwhelmed with how many women you are matching with and messaging, causing you to become very picky. This further reinforces your mindset of abundance, making you even more attractive.

You will have the dating life of your dreams and only have to give it up when you find your dream girl.

It may sound too good to be true, but I promise you it's not. I have taught guys from all walks of life, and I can teach you too.

If that sounds like an experience you want to have, leave your email address below, and let me guide you to your ideal life.

Until next time.

-Coley